Sometimes the pressure wont let up. Sometimes it seems like it wont ever let up. Sometimes that seems like an optimistic attitude.

LWSRN and I went to Las Vegas to visit my grandmother a couple weeks ago. We had a lovely time. We saw the Blue Man Group at the Luxor -- she was sure I was laughing so hard that i was going to fall out of my chair. We got a bit of sight seeing in, and we even found the local bar for women. I went to high school in Las Vegas, and after I got out of college, worked there for ten years. After a while it loses its glitter, and it's growing at such a rate, but I still know my way around... sort of.

Work was on overload when I came back. It's been whacked for weeks. I'm project lead this time around, and everyone's been so vocal about the importance of this project. You'd think that they want it to succeed, wouldn't you? Then why do they keep changing things? How can you hit a target that keeps moving? This is the soul of stress. I've been on medicine for depression for a few months now, but it's all leaking through and I feel like a zombie most of the time. But I'm still working, and that matters right now. It'll be over soon, it has to be.

And then I got this email. From my sister. You know, the one I haven't talked to in years and tried to start a dialog with? It had been a month since I wrote to her, and I was pretty sure I'd just been blown off. She'd written to tell me my grandmother had taken an emergency ride to the hospital. Of my family, only my grandmother had my phone number, and I think the only way anyone would have had to contact me was via the US Postal Service... except I wrote that letter.

My father's girlfriend, E, still had L's phone number, and called her the next day. Even though L had to move when we sold the house, she got to keep her phone number (but it's been a year). E had to tell L that she and my father weren't avoiding me and the lack of contact had nothing to do with what's happened in my life. I believe her. I've had so little contact with my father over the last 25 years that there's nothing to wonder about. I did think it was interesting that even though she had my phone number after that call that she still followed up with L.

But I did find out, and I talked to my grandmother, and even at the glorious old age of 93, she had surgery and survived. I talked with her often, and some how, even though my father was in town taking care of her, he was never around. I'm not sure, but I think I might have been relieved by that fact.

Through all of this LWSRN and I have been trying to find a house to buy. We're going to move in together. Nevermind that she's still in the middle of a horrendously messy divorce, and I'll need to sell my beloved house to make this happen. We're certain.